This isn't the first time in my 44 years that I have been unemployed, but I find that each time I am unemployed, I find new challenges and some of the same old ones.
I have to admit that one of the worst stings is the injured ego. There's just something about finding yourself dispensable that cuts to the quick and then some. It's especially bruising when your lack of gainful employment is public knowledge in a small town. You begin to imagine that people who whisper in the grocery store or gas station are talking about you. You start to wonder if your previous boss, who offered to be a "good" reference for you when he informed you that you WERE the budget cut, is sabotaging your efforts to find work. Everything that anyone says to you is examined for any possible double meaning related to your current employment (or in this case--LACK OF) status.
The sad thing is that you cannot separate your ego from your work. When someone is first introduced to you, the natural first question is "So, what do you do?" It brings the conversation to a stop when you say that you are unemployed, or that you currently fill out applications for jobs without any hope of obtaining one any time soon. Talk about a downer! Nobody want to waste their time on an unemployed person with NO prospects. It isn't really as if I have no prospects, but , hey, I'm a teacher! Openings do not often come around after Labor Day because the teachers are under contract for the school year around here! My only hope is that somebody's spouse will have to move out of state causing them to resign before their contract expires. That is not a frequent occurrence around here.
I have been told that I should perhaps move to an area with more jobs. The national news has convinced me that the problem is too widespread for that, besides, I live in an area near my extended family and LIKE letting my kids get to know their grandparents! I do not want to sacrifice my children for my job. They only have one childhood, but, I am beginning to understand, I may have more than one career.
I suppose it was naieve of me to think that when I received my degree and teaching certificate, that I would teach for decades, then retire. It isn't going to happen. Probably not for me or for anyone else of our generation. We will all have more than one career.
The times are changing, although we could debate forever whether it is for good or evil. The mere fact that they are changing is enough. Now, we/I must choose to change with the times, because there is no alternative. I must change with the times because the times will not change for me.
It is time to reinvent, but I will still stubbornly continue to apply for those teaching jobs. There is just something so enticing about helping shape the future....Although is bruises me to my core (my ego), I will continue to seek and learn, and promote a love of learning.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Ups & Downs in Employment
I not been "gainfully employed" since June. I guess that makes me one of the statistics we hear about on the nightly news. I have been through the whole gamut of emotions about it. My job loss was through no real fault of my own, but the loss did sting nonetheless. My bruised ego cried out angrily about the unfairness of having devoted myself to pulling off what I considered to be a tour de force for the employer who had given me a nearly impossible task with more-than-limited resources and no visible means of support for performing to the high level of expectations. Merely surviving without quitting would have been impressive, and I did more than that, but it wasn't enough.
It hurts when your best efforts are not enough. I'd say that is an idea that many of us are realizing the truth about, these days. Our best efforts to get a job that will enable life above the poverty level are not enough. Our communities' best efforts to attract industry and jobs are not enough. Our best efforts to balance the budget are not enough. Our best efforts to elect responsible leadership with real ideas for change, not just rhetoric, are not enough. We feel our failures more now than ever before. The truth hurts. I hurt.
What can we do? What can I do? We can refuse to wallow in self-pity and realize how responsible "self" as in "selfishness" is for our whole dilemma. We the people have allowed ourselves to honor and elevate selfishness to an art form, and that is a serious character flaw. We must become convicted of our selfishness that shows up as a love of laziness, and an attitude of everything being about us. We can begin to ask what we can do to serve others, and we can vote for change. I can serve others while looking for a decent job. My service will be appreciated and I will be able to ease some of the smarting in my ego. I will feel needed again, valued again. It won't hurt as much the next time I try for a job and am told that my master's degree makes me overqualified.
Serving others may not help eliminate my unemployment, help my financial status, or fix the country's economy, but it would be a start, and it couldn't hurt. I will stop valuing laziness and selfishness. I will vow to do as many productive things each day as I can, even if it is picking up trash, or cleaning my house, or volunteering at a senior center or school. I will serve through as many different avenues as I can, and I will appreciate the experiences provided.
Voting for change may not fix all the problems, but if we keep voting for change every time until we get the right kind of change, we will eventually get the message across that no matter how slick the political ad, no matter how smooth the talker, no matter what race or gender, our leaders MUST be responsible and govern with COMMON SENSE instead of selfishness which causes them to vote for whatever is stroking their ego or fattening their campaign coffers.
Tonight I will go to bed early so I can rise to serve in my church on Sunday, and in my community on Monday; and come election day, I will serve to elect real change in every office for which I can vote. I believe that the current officeholders are "overqualified" to serve in the current economic disaster, and must be eliminated from their offices for the good of the economy and the country.
It hurts when your best efforts are not enough. I'd say that is an idea that many of us are realizing the truth about, these days. Our best efforts to get a job that will enable life above the poverty level are not enough. Our communities' best efforts to attract industry and jobs are not enough. Our best efforts to balance the budget are not enough. Our best efforts to elect responsible leadership with real ideas for change, not just rhetoric, are not enough. We feel our failures more now than ever before. The truth hurts. I hurt.
What can we do? What can I do? We can refuse to wallow in self-pity and realize how responsible "self" as in "selfishness" is for our whole dilemma. We the people have allowed ourselves to honor and elevate selfishness to an art form, and that is a serious character flaw. We must become convicted of our selfishness that shows up as a love of laziness, and an attitude of everything being about us. We can begin to ask what we can do to serve others, and we can vote for change. I can serve others while looking for a decent job. My service will be appreciated and I will be able to ease some of the smarting in my ego. I will feel needed again, valued again. It won't hurt as much the next time I try for a job and am told that my master's degree makes me overqualified.
Serving others may not help eliminate my unemployment, help my financial status, or fix the country's economy, but it would be a start, and it couldn't hurt. I will stop valuing laziness and selfishness. I will vow to do as many productive things each day as I can, even if it is picking up trash, or cleaning my house, or volunteering at a senior center or school. I will serve through as many different avenues as I can, and I will appreciate the experiences provided.
Voting for change may not fix all the problems, but if we keep voting for change every time until we get the right kind of change, we will eventually get the message across that no matter how slick the political ad, no matter how smooth the talker, no matter what race or gender, our leaders MUST be responsible and govern with COMMON SENSE instead of selfishness which causes them to vote for whatever is stroking their ego or fattening their campaign coffers.
Tonight I will go to bed early so I can rise to serve in my church on Sunday, and in my community on Monday; and come election day, I will serve to elect real change in every office for which I can vote. I believe that the current officeholders are "overqualified" to serve in the current economic disaster, and must be eliminated from their offices for the good of the economy and the country.
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